Compassionate Writer on Substack
Blog: Essays
Avoiding Burnout When the House Is on Fire
A few weeks ago, we celebrated Halloween at our school. Halloween is a big holiday at our school - costume parade for our littles in front of myriad parents, middle and upper schoolers and faculty followed by laughter filled parties, treats and games organized by the parent community in each classroom. That is what we would do in a normal year. Of course, 2020 is anything but a normal year.
Why I start with WHY
Your WHY holds your power.
It is your catalyst and
Your sustaining force.
When it comes to writing a book, I have noticed for myself and my clients, once the decision has been made to write a book we just want to get to the writing. And, that makes sense. It’s a huge undertaking and a decision that isn’t made on the flip of a coin — heads I write a book and tails I eat some ice cream.
When Grief Resurfaces in Uncertain Times
Like so many of you, I have been thrust almost instantly into a new way of living, working, and communicating with my family and friends. Although I’ve always considered myself to be a very adaptable and flexible person, changing nearly everything all at once due to the pandemic has made me question that.
The Other 99,999
I woke up in the morning worried. I worried all through the day. I worried when I went to bed.
Every single day, my entire day was lived in anticipation of the 10 to 12 times my heartbeat would skip. It started just a few months before, with that first incident of an irregular heartbeat, when the doctor assigned to my case came to my hospital bedside and made his pronouncement:
You have atrial fibrillation. You have a high risk of stroke. If we can’t control it with medication, we will have to use the defibrillator to give you a shock.
I was 35 years old. This was not supposed to be happening.
To See or Be Seen?
How often do we show the world what we think it expects to see?
a loyal employee, a smart businesswoman, a friendly customer service agent, a knowledgable teacher, a friendly Uber rider, a supportive friend, a sweet daughter, a helpful coworker, a dependable spouse
HOW YOU CAN USE YOUR GUILT TO ENGAGE IN ANTIRACISM (and why your self-focused shame isn't helping anyone)
"ALLIES: NOW IS THE TIME TO BE IN THE SERVICE OF BLACK LIBERATION. LIMIT YOUR RESPONSE TO WHAT IS OF REAL, TANGIBLE HELP TO US. GIVE MONEY, CALL YOUR REPS, PROTECT BLACK PEOPLE AT PROTESTS, ELEVATE OUR WORK AND VOICES. DON'T MAKE US SWIM THROUGH YOUR TEARS WHILE WE FIGHT." ~ IJEOMA OLUO
I’m a White millennial female psychologist working in New York City. In the wake of the modern-day lynching of Ahmaud Arbery and the police’s public execution of George Floyd and senseless murdering of Breonna Taylor and many other Black Americans, I've noticed something about how my White clients and I are struggling with how to take antiracist action and how to confront our complicity with racism. I’ve noticed that even very well-intentioned. White people who are dedicated to fighting racial injustice can get caught up in wrestling with their shame, rather than focusing on taking meaningful action. I want to talk about why our shame isn’t helping anyone.
Helping Children Handle Strong Emotions
Chris Fraser is a mental health therapist with children and families with over 25 years of experience. In this video Chris shares practical tools and useful wisdom that children can use to calm their worries during this time of quarantine and beyond. Once worries are calmed and cared for Chris teaches that the worries can just go along for the ride as children learn to take action on those things they care about or need to do.
Every quarter I contribute an essay to Elan Vitae Magazine. For Spring 2024, I wrote an essay entitled “Phosphorescent,” which was inspired by my March 2024 blog. (If you are curious, you can read that HERE.)
Every issue has a theme, and the Spring 2024 theme is Light. I love to create some contstraint when writing—these guardrails give you a place to start—but when I first thought about Light as a starting place, it confounded me. There were so many ways I could go with this essay—not much constraint there!