fierce compassion

Why I start with WHY

Why I start with WHY

Your WHY holds your power.

It is your catalyst and

Your sustaining force.

When it comes to writing a book, I have noticed for myself and my clients, once the decision has been made to write a book we just want to get to the writing. And, that makes sense. It’s a huge undertaking and a decision that isn’t made on the flip of a coin — heads I write a book and tails I eat some ice cream.

My Grandmother as My Perfect Nurturer

My Grandmother as My Perfect Nurturer

I think about my grandmother all of the time these days. I still have the vanity dresser that she gave to me when I was 13 years old. It’s a focal point in my adult bedroom, just as it was in my teenage bedroom. It’s part of the set that my grandfather bought for them when they were first married in 1927.

I remember when it was in their house on Clinton Heights and it lived in the “green room” — that’s what we called the room with the two twin beds and the double bed, which was of course, green. Oh, that room! That’s where we cousins were jumping one afternoon from bed-to-bed-to-bed-to-loveseat-to-hopechest-back-to-the-bed-again and where on one of those fateful leaps I fell and broke my arm… but that’s another story. The vanity dresser sat in the dormer alcove of that room and it was the perfect little space for it. There was good light from the window and you felt nestled in and protected.

HOW YOU CAN USE YOUR GUILT TO ENGAGE IN ANTIRACISM (and why your self-focused shame isn't helping anyone)

HOW YOU CAN USE YOUR GUILT TO ENGAGE IN ANTIRACISM (and why your self-focused shame isn't helping anyone)

"ALLIES: NOW IS THE TIME TO BE IN THE SERVICE OF BLACK LIBERATION. LIMIT YOUR RESPONSE TO WHAT IS OF REAL, TANGIBLE HELP TO US. GIVE MONEY, CALL YOUR REPS, PROTECT BLACK PEOPLE AT PROTESTS, ELEVATE OUR WORK AND VOICES. DON'T MAKE US SWIM THROUGH YOUR TEARS WHILE WE FIGHT." ~ IJEOMA OLUO

I’m a White millennial female psychologist working in New York City. In the wake of the modern-day lynching of Ahmaud Arbery and the police’s public execution of George Floyd and senseless murdering of Breonna Taylor and many other Black Americans, I've noticed something about how my White clients and I are struggling with how to take antiracist action and how to confront our complicity with racism.  I’ve noticed that even very well-intentioned. White people who are dedicated to fighting racial injustice can get caught up in wrestling with their shame, rather than focusing on taking meaningful action. I want to talk about why our shame isn’t helping anyone.